Relationships are the most complicated part of our lives. We are social beings and have a desire to be around others, yet they are the area that many of us struggle the most in.
Some thoughts that we can have is "if he/she would change then my life would be better" or, "the reason I did that was because of ____". We do not take responsibility for our actions by blaming those we love for doing something that we do not like and it being the reason why we experience certain emotions, thoughts or responses.
We would encourage you today to start becoming aware of the negative thoughts that interfere with you being able to act in love in your relationships. There might actually be a problem in your relationship with a particular person. You will not find out what it is, unless you identify what your feelings are and not blame them on your relationships.
Feelings? Feelings will be addressed in more detail in another blog. We may get tired of hearing about feelings. We may think we know what we feel. For now, even if both of these statements are true, we would like you to focus in the next few days on what your feelings and thoughts are.
Our feelings impact our thoughts and our thoughts impact our feelings. Humans have an easier time identifying what their thoughts are than they have figuring out what they feel. Love is not a feeling. Love is an action. Expressing and receiving love trigger the emotion of joy. It is very easy to act with love in the beginning of our romantic relationships. Once the infatuation wares off, it becomes more difficult to be loving. This post is about feeling more joy by practicing actions of love, in more ways than when we first fall in love.
Practicing acting in love and not blaming the people we come into contact with and our relationships for our discontent, will increase our positive emotions and experiences in our lives.
Your goal for the next few days is to write on one side of a 3x5 card what loving act you will practice several times a day towards people you meet and in your closest relationships. It could be calling someone daily to ask how they are, or leaving a love note for your partner, or leaving an extra tip each time you receive a service. On the other side of the card, we want you to write what the outcome will be in your life, which is "I am loved, I receive love freely, I give love freely and I am love."
Let us know how it goes, see you next week!